20151012-20151012-032A2038-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A2365-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A3747-Edit20151012-20151012-032A1941-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A3543-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A3861-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A3621-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A3369-Edit20151012-20151012-032A3209-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A2367-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A2300-Edit 20151012-20151012-032A3255-Editit’s been a while since i was able to take some time for myself. it’s been a constant go-go-go and the holidays are sneaking up on me faster than i thought possible. i have been so blessed with amazing experiences, trips and clients and this year in particular the last thing i need is time to myself. amazing things to write about coming at me from every direction. more, even sometimes, than we know what to do with. and even though all these blessings come our way it was still one of the toughest years of my life. i don’t want to bring down the mood of what this blog is all about so i don’t share in the drama of life. this is a place, after all where we are all supposed to get a moment’s break from ‘real life’ but i thought i should also give you a little insight of where my head is at right now. even though i have some fun holiday posts coming your way still, everything is definitely a lot less festive for me this year as it will be our first christmas without my dad. i thought i had it in me to run a series of giveaways, take photos under the christmas tree and wrap pretend presents, but in the end i decided i was going to take some time for myself, to think and reflect on things i have been trying to escape. i don’t want to dive deep into how much it will actually suck for us, together with new years eve, when we’re supposed to be celebrating my parents 48th wedding anniversary, how nothing will ever be the same again and how life is all about finding ways to cope with the pain because in reality it won’t ever go away. i still can’t really talk (or write) about it without feeling like my head is going to explode with memories and thoughts of what has passed and what it’s like to lose a parents, how we’re all destined to find out, at least twice. i’m going to stop now, wipe my tears and bury myself deep in what has helped me deal for the last 12 months, which is creating images and telling stories so that i can share them with you. you guys have been like my [distant] family and even if you don’t realize it you have helped me get through some of the hardest days just by showing up everyday, or every time there is a new post. so from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU! i owe you <3

i don’t really have anything else to say. i can throw some more superficial thoughts of how i really loved this outfit and shooting in the middle of calgary’s downtown on a sunday morning was actually some of the more real street style shots we have ever gotten here at home, but let’s for once keep it reflective. so here it is, the little bits and pieces of my mind you don’t often get to see. bare with me as i get through this holiday season and come out on the other side hopefully stronger than the last and ready to take on another year. it all gets lighter from here on out, i promise. xoxo

wearing: joe fresh coat, stole & blouse, frame denim flares, zara heels, chloe bag

5 Responses

  1. Emilie says:

    Oh Ania… I had no idea. This is a beautiful and very touching post. I know these holidays will be hard but it’s good that you take some time for yourself. There is no magical wand to take your sadness away but we are all here to cheer you up. 🙂 And thanks for sharing your story. xoxo

  2. Theresa says:

    This post was beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to share something personal and connect behind all of the staged images that bloggers regularly post. I wish you the best this holiday season and I hope you find some time to feel a bit of joy.

  3. I’m so happy to hear you’re taking a bit of time for yourself over the holidays! It’s important and will only make things better, both personally and professionally. I’ll be home for Christmas, going through the same challenge, so if you need a buddy, don’t be shy to call :).

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